Okay, living in dorms is…interesting.
(So is college, actually. I really want to publish on the days I say I will, but sometimes I’m busy and just forget! Sorry!)
I mean, I didn’t realize how much of an introvert I was until I moved in with two other girls and met a whole group of people called the Freshmen Class of 2018. There are just people everywhere, an endless list of humans you have to meet and chat with because you’re desperate for friends but also people are annoying and…
Well, I was wiped by the end of the weekend.
2 weeks in, I was pretty sure I was one of the most introverted people on my floor and that I’d never have any real friends.
4 weeks in, I realized that I was being a little…dramatic.
But I’m sure I’m not the only introverted (okay, technically I’m an ambivert, but my introvert side came out hard moving into college!) college student. So here’s to all the brave quiet college freshmen who like silence and solitude and can’t find enough of either (especially when the sport team is having a pep rally right under your window). Here’s some tips to make it through, and hopefully encourage you.
1. Welcome week is exhausting, but try to meet as many friends as you can. For those of you who don’t know, Welcome Weekend is the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday before college starts. It’s a bunch of lectures and activities that are supposed to help the freshmen “integrate.” It’s really long. And you have to talk to so. Many. People. But push through it. Seriously. Not everyone you talk to will be your friend, but try to talk to people. Even having people that you just nod at in between classes helps you feel less like just another face in the crowd.
2. Don’t stay in your dorm. This is soooooo tempting. After wildly running to different classes, sometimes you just want to go to your dorm, shut the door, and hope your roommates don’t come back. And there’s a time and place for that. But don’t let yourself stay there. Seriously, you’ll feel really lonely if you don’t really invest in other people.
3. Follow your gut and be honest. Know when you are all done. Don’t be afraid to tell people “No,” even if they’re telling you to come. Definitely don’t stay in your dorm, but don’t expend so much energy just to have what other people call “fun.”
4. Don’t judge anyone, especially your roommates, by first impressions. Both of my roommates are super extroverted. They flutter through rooms and conversations and people in a way that I just can’t. I wasn’t exactly sure what to make of them: they were just so much! But now I’ve grown used to them. And honestly, they make me laugh so much. They introduce me to people all the time, and I love how easily they can lighten the tension. I may have never chosen them as friends, but now that we all live together, I’m so glad we do.
5. Invest in your friends. Say you’ve met a couple of people that you connect to. Set aside time to invest in them. You don’t have to have a lot of friends, but just have a couple close ones and put a lot of time into them. It’s less energy spent and will be more fulfilling anyway, because those friends will be closer and know you better.
6. It does get better. The first month, especially if you aren’t crazy social, is hard. You have some people you sit with at lunch or you wave at in the hallways, but they don’t know you well and you feel like nobody really gets you. But give it a month. Find out where people are having game nights or weekends out (and I’m not talking parties, I’m talking small groups of people just hanging out). Eventually you start to gel with other people. And then you have the rest of your time there to have fellowship.
And with that, back to homework! 🙂